Subsidize My Authority!
What are the Palangi Files?
The blogs of a guy who quit his job, sold or gave away all of his possessions, joined the Peace Corps and moved to the tiny island Kingdom of Tonga. This is his (and only) his story.

The contents of this website are my own PERSONAL opinion. They do not reflect the opinions, policies, actions, feelings, emotions or sleep patterns of the Peace Corps, the U.S. Government, the Kingdom of Tonga or anyone else for that matter but me.

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J.K. Goes All the Way



Okay now for the skinny...

Or the ME! Mwahahaha! That's funny because I am skinny!

So I just tried to upgrade my fedora core box and it went all trashy on me. Today, I decided to switch over the sleeker, sexier and hotly debated ubuntu linux. Yeah, i know dork stuff, but it does keep me sane. So coming from my new ubuntu box to you: the skinny.

So lets see its the first week of school or not-school as is usually the case for most schools. You see, unlike other countries that have "start dates" where the students and teachers both show up at the same time and have these things called "classes." Here in Tonga, classes take on an altogether different meaning. You see the concept of starting "on time" is more of an abstract concept rather than a workable reality.

The students mostly do show up the first day. Depending on how late they were hanging out at church the night before or up drinking kava or quietly eating ufi or even how the tradewinds are blowing, most of the staff do as well. There is even this sort of "meeting" of a type that goes on, but generally its mayhem. The students show up to pay their money and select their classes (which is ironic because they don't really have a "choice" in what classes they're going to take) while the teachers hang around to find out what classes they're going to be teaching this term, how many they're going to be teaching, if they got raises or promotions of any sort, if they are still teaching at this school, etc. You know, the little things that would normally perhaps "concern" students and teachers anywhere else in the world.

But, as I've learned, this is Tonga and like monkeys and crocodiles in the wild, a very natural, normal and even beautiful thing. It really used to piss me off something fierce, but now that I know I'm leaving its pretty ho hum. In fact, to get into the spirit of things, I've kind of not even started my own classes not on time. Its been like a free week of vaca! I figure what the hell, when am I ever going to have an opportunity to be so complacent. Its a hard crack to nut, or that's what my peace corps experience has been thus far, or maybe that's what I'd like to believe because no one can FIRE a volunteer. Hmmmm....

Alright, so that's that for now. Couple of other things. One, check out Philly Billy's website and Bill, fool! email me at and nicole, oh illustrious one, I have no excuses. Its good to be back. I shall play some catch up, I shall...

Finally, I've got a couple of good stories coming (actually being worked on now) so stay tuned kids. They include flogging! And yes, the photos will eventually be back online. Its hard to explain. I have them all, I just need to rebuild the gallery to get them working.

No, finally for real! What no props on the 90 days of having quit smoking! That was friggin hard! No one said anything! 9 years of smoking and more than a pack a day at the height of my addiction. Jeez, well I guess I'll just start smoking again or topless dance for attention. Either or. Same difference. Ummmm (these guys should die) winifili... get attention... desire it. ummmmm.....

Eat your vitamins.

1 comments - Post a Comment
  • I think its wonderful that you have made it 90+ days, it truly is one of the best things you will ever do for yourself. I am very proud of you keep going and don't look back.

    # posted by Anonymous : 7/29/2005 1:35 AM

So I jst wanted to give a big giant

Fck Yo! To my laptop. As yo can see the (select charmap, click symbol, click copy, retrn to blog, click paste) "u" btton on my keyboard jst stopped working.

Crappy ctrl+v "u" btton. Damn yo! Damn yo!
0 comments - Post a Comment


Congratulations! You, sir, are the...

best! Following up on that whole quitting smoking thing from the last post. Got my anniversary email just a few minutes ago...

Hello Jim Jawn!
Your Quit Date is:Thursday, April 21, 2005 at 3:00:00 PM
Time Smoke-Free:90 days, 14 hours, 15 minutes and 24 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked:2265
Lifetime Saved:17 days, 7 hours
Money Saved:$728.00

Open Gadget - My Secret Special Quitnet Gadget. I am rich and beautiful. Click me.

You've made it! A whole 3 months without a cigarette! In that time, you've successfully navigated the physical chaos of withdrawal, the emotional highs and lows of early quit, and the pitfalls of relapse!

Countless times you've refused the offered cigs. More times than that you've craved nicotine, but opted for health, instead. You've endured teasing, lack of support, and feeling uncomfortable and out of place among smokers. You may have had issues with weight, anger, tension or sadness, but still you stayed SMOKE-FREE!

You're adjusting to a whole new lifestyle. You're already thinking different thoughts. You've changed habits and routines. You've made new friends and, perhaps, let go of some old ones. You're starting to realize the benefits of living a SMOKE-FREE life. More and more, you see yourself as a non-smoker. We hope you're as proud of you as we are.

And while you've been doing all this for yourself, you've been helping everyone here at the Q: your membership in our community, whether active or passive, has demonstrated an ongoing support of the efforts of all of us. We hope you stay with us as you continue your SMOKE-FREE journey to a fuller, richer, healthier life


Bill Gates - He's super rich and a pretty big philanthropist. Can I get a what, what!
Jesus - His legacy is annoying and he's probably better than me today.
David Lynch - Despite being a competent filmmaker, he's apparently as mad as a hatter.


1 comments - Post a Comment
  • welcome back!
    # posted by nicole : 7/26/2005 12:34 PM

Its been so long...

Friends family and loved ones that I'm not even sure where to begin!

I've been dreaming about this post for a while. I noticed that the last time that I actually wrote anything was like almost 6 months ago. I guess I should fill everyone in on why I haven't gotten things going sooner and explain just what the heck happened. I mean, I know that this website was on the regular rotational list for a lot of work-killing-time/looking-for-tips-and-hints-for-my-peace-corps-service-before-i-start-list. I used to be beautiful. What the hell happened to me!

Alright so I went back to the states in December and just did absolutely no writing or updating whatsoever. I just basically sat on my ass, gained nearly 12 pounds from doing so and dellighted in the warming friendiness and familiness of being home. So I got back to Tonga around January 14th or somewhere sometime in between and learned that my webhost ( - which, of course should no longer work) went out of business and stole three years of my pre-paid money with them. Dude didn't even have the cajones to email me and let me know he was stealing my money and taking my site off-line. Actually, I didn't even mind the site getting taken down, it was the fact that I lost a bunch of the my stuff like pictures and programming work It made me very, very sad.

So that happenend and it set me back for quite some time. I decided that I didn't really have the money to pay for webhosting again and asked for the aid of my buddy drakeage to hook me up with some spizzle and some free hosting. Z' Drake most definitely did and hooked me up big-big he did. However, by this time, I was in love with a new operating system: This OS is knows as DA LINUX. Particuarly Fedora Core 3. I started looking at some projects that I wanted to get involved in and I wanted to run my stuff all on Linux, like my busted arse laptop. So instead of fixing my stuff at my buddy's site, I started rewriting the site from windows to Linux, which, of course in Tongan Time set me back lahi aupito. So I guess that's where I am now.

In between these brief minor technicalities some big stuff has happened to to me. For example, I started dating a hottie! I'm not going to say who, but we've been chilling for 6 months now and its going pretty well. She's very hairy and most definitely a drunk, but she's nice and she makes eggs and bacon and knows how to river dance, like this guy:

Actually, I don't know why I give river dancers so much crap. They're generally very good dancers and, like me and whiskey, have a very irish heritage. Alright so what else. Ummm... I learned some very powerful lessons about christianity and hypocrisy, but those are fun stories for another time. Actually, most of my recent stories are not very happy at all. I've had a very difficult, very hard last 6 months and I will slowly but surely recall each of these stories during the next few months/weeks/etc.

In fact, since returning to Tonga I've been pretty much ready to go back to the states. I don't know though. I am an emotional rollercoaster. Each day is a suprise and more and more wild than the next for the most part. Alright. I guess that's good enough for a return post. I have a lot more work to do to the site before I can get it up and working again, but this should be a pretty good start.

I'll write some more funny, happy, good things later and keep you posted on the goings on here in the Kingdom of Tonga.

Pisi Out,

3 comments - Post a Comment
  • Thank Good, I was a little worried about you for a little while when i saw no update for months. I'm very relieved to hear your ok. And don't worry. You'll be back in the states soon enough. I can't wait. I miss the shit out of you.
    # posted by Bill C : 7/22/2005 3:34 PM
  • So good to see your back, you have been missed....A. Nancy
    # posted by Anonymous : 7/26/2005 9:26 AM
  • pictures? soon?
    # posted by Anonymous : 7/26/2005 9:35 AM