The Palangi Files
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Friends! Family! Sometimes Acquantainces! Mafiosa! Enenmies with sworn Vendettas!
As you may or may not yet know I will be returning to the United States of America, departing today at 8:00 p.m. (tonga time) and arriving today (eastern standard time) at 11:58 p.m. The actually day that I will be arriving is Tuesday, December 14th and the actual time that I will be arriving is 11:51 p.m. The place that I will be arriving in is in Philadelphia.
Now I know that this may be confusing but that's okay because I will be travelling around the world so fast that I am actually making time go backwards, like superman in Superman III. Its okay for you guys because you won't feel anything, so don't worry. Just know that I'll be in Philly on Tuesday, December 14th at 11:51 p.m. I will also be leaving philadelphia on January 11th, so I'll be around for like solid month or so.
Now I know that this is last minute and stuff, but I just got my itenerary worked out yesterday and I'm just getting access to an internet that is working here now. My apologies oh doer of duels. Our time to joust lances must be postponed.
So, lets review...
- Time of Arrival (check)
- Time of Leaving (check)
- Excuse for Not Emailing Sooner (check)
- Place to Stay (unchecked)
- Ride from Airport (unchecked)
- Consumption of One Prov with (Pat's) (unchecked)
- Consumption of One American with (Geno's) and cheese fries (unchecked)
Now on the list above, you may or may not notice that I still have a few things to workout on my todo list. Namely, (1) a ride from the airport to (2) some destination where I can slumber blissfully from my tiring 'making time go backwards escapades' and (3) a stop off at 9th and Passyunk for carnal delights. What I'm looking for is a few volunteers to help out above with numbers 1 through 3 while I sort out my agenda and hide from the mafia. Any volunteers? I promise, I am much more compact than the last model and I generate a body heat of a balmy 98.6 degress and may actually reduce your heating costs! Seriously, I'm looking for a place to crash. And a ride from the airport. And a stop off at Pat's and Geno's. Please help.
Okay, appeal to christian charity has been covered. As you can imagine, there are a number of things living here in Tonga that I don't normally get access to or have here in the Kingdom. I have thought about these things numerous times in multiple situations. What I'm asking you, oh friends, family and even you, evil arch nemisis, is to help me fill out my list of stuff to do. Okay, I wrote a song about it, wanna here it, here it goes...
0.) Girls in haltertops - 'Nough said.
1.) Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream - Frequent Pints Dribbling from my chin.
2.) A steak - not just like a crappy sirloin, but like something I'd worry about my cholestrol just by looking at. It might moo.
3.) A game of texas hold'em with real american money - I don't have much, but I'd like to give it to a charity via spirited gambling
4.) Sushi - Yes. Raw fish dribbling in ginger sauce.
5.) Good Indian Food - One of the finest restaurants in the entire kingdom serves beautiful spicy indian food, but it is also tongan.
6.) Megan's feet - Just a peek.
7.) Cold, Delicious, Not Ikale, Beer - Lots of it. It can be bottled, canned, served in a box with a fox, on a plane in a train, i love my beer oh Sam I am
8.) Dinner at the Wellsboro Diner - Good Eggs, Good Hash... browns, and coffee
9.) A bacon egg and cheese sandwhich - Served by a grease truck in less than two minutes with a cup of instant coffee in the quintessentially american greek columned blue cup.
10.) Christmas dinner. - Served italian style with family.
11.) Lots and lots of movies that have been released during the last year - Served with popcorn, large coca-cola fountain sodas where the people attending don't speak another language while you are watching it.
12.) A laugh from Nicole - Just a giggle, that's all I'm asking fo.
13.) People who read this list, realize they are not on it, to not get mad at me for not remembering to add them to the list, not to get mad or to remind me that they weren't included on the list
14.) A trip to the whitehouse - where I can poop on its perfectly manacured lawn
15.) Other fun stuff as it occurs.
Alright, I'm creatively spent and prepping for the trip as we speak... I can't wait to see everyone and I'll see you soon. Love you all and ummmm.... yeah.
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